reasontobelieve:

Haley James Scott → Season Four

Sometimes I feel incredibly disconnected. Really uncomfortable in my own skin, kind of like I don’t fit into this world. Like I was born at the wrong time and I don’t belong. I just think about my son, and it scares me, because I don’t ever want him to feel like he doesn’t belong. I don’t know if  my heart could bear that.

As most of you know tonight is a very special night for us, so i’d like to take the time to take a moment to thank you all for being here. The time that we’ve spent together over the years has meant so much and without you we would not be here tonight, thank you.

One Tree Hill Alphabet →Haley James Scott

“Sometimes I feel incredibly disconnected, really uncomfortable in my own skin, or kind of like I don’t fit into this world. Like I was born at the wrong time and I don’t belong.”

“Every day we ignore how completely broken this world is, and we tell ourselves that it’s all going to be okay, “You’re going to be okay.” But it’s not okay. And once you know that, there’s no going back. There’s no magic in the world. Least, not today there isn’t.”

9x09 - Every Breath Is a Bomb

reasontobelieve:

Fifteen Favorite Haley James Scott Moments
↳ 12. Return of the Future

Nathan: Did you think about it? Having a baby to stay together?
Haley: Nathan I am seventeen years old. We’re still in high school. You and I are totally in limbo. No. I don’t want a baby.
Nathan: Well you knew you weren’t protected that night.
Haley: Well, first of all, it takes two, guy without a condom. Secondly, the only thing I was thinking about that night was being with my husband. The fact that you think I was trying to trap you into something is really insulting.
Nathan: Then why’d you go off birth control?
Haley: Because I was on tour and you weren’t with me and contrary to what you were thinking I wasn’t sleeping with Chris Keller!
Nathan: I never said that! You still should have told me, Haley.
Haley: Told you what? That when you have sex there’s a risk of pregnancy? You should have told me that having sex turns you into an ass.
Nathan: Haley. What if something would have happened? That would have changed our lives forever?
Haley: Like what, marriage?
Nathan: I know we’re married! I’m talking about basketball, my career.
Haley: Oh, okay. So let me get this straight…you’re the one with goals and dreams and the only thing I want, apparently, is you back. I’m not that desperate, Nathan. And if you were so worried about it, then why didn’t you stop us that night? It’s just as much your responsibility as it is mine.
Nathan: You’re right. It is my responsibility. Let me see the pills.
Haley: I cannot believe you still don’t believe me. Here, take them! I don’t need ‘em anymore. Your future as a basketball player is totally secure, your future as my husband, not so much.

reasontobelieve:

Fifteen Favorite Haley James Scott Moments
↳ 11. What’s in the Ground Belongs to You

It all just seems so fake. This idea that good things happen to good people, and there is magic in the world, and the meek and righteous will inherit it. There’s too many good people that suffer for something like that to be true. There are too many prayers that get unanswered. Every day we ignore how completely broken this world is, and we tell ourselves it’s all going to be okay, you’re going to be okay. But it’s not okay, and once you know that, there’s no going back. There’s no magic in the world. At least not today there isn’t.

I was thinking about the finality of it all, how somebody can leave your world in the blink of an eye, be gone forever. It’s too enormous to think about. It’s too hard. And then you’re just supposed to go on, right? Like just, deal with it. I mean really, you’re supposed to be sad for about as long as the flowers last and then, oh, time go to back to telling jokes and reminiscing about the old days. I don’t have any jokes to tell. As a matter of fact, I hope I never hear another joke as long as I live, and the old days…are just that. They’re old. Days that are gone.

I have to tell myself to just be happy, but I don’t feel happy, and when I try to change it, when I try to remember what being happy felt like, I can’t. I don’t feel joy, I don’t feel inspired, I feel numb.